Corporate Manifesto

Everything written here is legally binding.

GREG HQ was established in 2014 by a guy who likes to critically analyze Troom Troom videos and pretend he's a professional musician.

We are the fastest growing army on the internet. We do not have weapons, but we do have a lot of tactical strollers and a concerning obsession with a wooden Nutcracker.

Mandatory Directive

By reading this page, you agree to immediately purchase merchandise. If you are named Craig, you must leave the premises immediately or face the consequences (mildly insulting jokes).